Sunday, November 04, 2007

Can you read this?

Terhe is a sutdy tpye tinhg taht syas taht so lnog as the frist and lsat lteters of a wrod are in the rghit palce, you can raed tihs baldy splled carp... wlle, can you?
carpe dementia,
Stephen

New Blog Post

I’m sorry I haven’t updated in so long, but between the Wii, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Animal Crossing, El Goonish Shive, the new season of Avatar, the fall premieres, Mamma Mia! (the exclamation point is part of the title, BTW), decorating my room, Greek (new show on ABC family, go to abcfamily.com to find out more information whilst you’re wondering how I can plug this show so shamelessly), the new season of How I Met Your Mother, Convincing my mother to let me preorder the new Comedity book (still working on it), the running out of excuses, and all the procrastination, I just couldn’t find the time, but I have now found time to write a new blog post, so without further ado (drum roll)… here… is… the new… blog post!

But first, because I’m sure you all want to see my new reading list, here is my new reading list (we’ll get to the actual post eventually, I swear):

Complete Tales And Poems Of Edgar Allan Poe

Romance of the Three Kingdoms (still haven’t finished, still on book one)

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (series) (this is my fourth reread, in case you were keeping track)

Here we go with the new post.

In just three sentences the post will be here.

This is one sentence.

This is one other sentence.

Here it is.

I was just thinking about frequently asked questions and how the questions are either asked by people who already know the answers, asked by people who have enough information to figure out the answers themselves (and are, presumably, just very lazy), or not really frequently asked. Doesn’t this make you wonder what a real FAQ and answers thing would look like? My guess is something like this:

Q: where did I leave my car keys?

A: check the glove compartment

Q: mom, why are you making me read To Kill A Mockingbird?

A: because it’s a classic (or some such nonsense)

Q: can I play until I lose?

A: no

Q: can’t I play just one more level?

A: no

Q: can I finish this song?

A: no

Q: would you mind if I played this song really loud?

A: yes, I mind

Q: what?!?!

A: I mind!

Q: talk louder, I can’t hear you over the music!

A: UGH!!!!!!!!

Q: I still can’t hear you

A: never mind

Q: what?!?!

Q: why doesn’t Gifted Gear Reviews update more often?

A: because the author has the attention span of an eleven year old (i.e. he can sit quietly and listen to an entire Nightwish album, but he takes a week to write one blog post… unless he doesn’t want to take a shower:-)

And there you have it, an FAQ that is actually filled with frequently asked questions.

Well, that’s it, I’ll see you next week (or whenever I get around to updating again).

p.s. I would like it to be known that this post was done in three days, not seven

p.p.s. Please send more fan-mail, because the more fan-mail I receive, the more evidence I have fans and the more evidence I have fans, the more I’ll try to update weekly

p.p.p.s. the above is only a theory and thus has yet to be confirmed.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

What you didn't know about me....

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, Grandpa Stephen


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED
There's this song by Tom Smith called "A Boy And His Frog", it's a tribute to the late Jim Henson; it's very sad.



3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No



4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Cow Tongue



5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
I'm a little young for that sort of thing



6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.



7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No, I would never be sarcastic, really...



8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes



9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
That depends on where i would be jumping, the experience of the person I would be jumping with, and the likelyhood that I might break something.



10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Rice Chex or Corn Flakes, whichever.



11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I wear velcro shoes, always.



12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Mentally, yes, physically, no.



13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint mixed with strawberry, topped with brownies and crushed snickers bars.



14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? That depends on the person, sometimes it's the song they're playing on their CD player or iPod, and sometimes it's the way they greet me, it's all relative.


15. RED OR PINK?
Whichever.



16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
What's not to like?



17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I'm close to everyone who matters.



18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Red, bare-foot .


19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Corn Flakes!



20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of my own typing and "Bow 2 Me" by The Consortium Of Genius.



21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Why would i want to be a crayon?



22. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wasabi and soy sauce.



23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend,
Eric.


24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, Grandma sent this. Without her i wouldn't exist, of course i like her.



25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Tennis and Curling



26. HAIR COLOR?

Brown.


27. EYE COLOR?
Brown



28. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, glasses.



29. FAVORITE FOOD?
Unagi on sushi rice.



30. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I don't like scary movies (i do like creepy movies, though); whether or not I like happy endings depends on the context, if I'm watching something along the lines of Kate & Leopold or Never Been Kissed (both very good; Kate & Leopold is better, though) I want a happy ending, but if I'm watching something closer to The Outer Limits or The Twilight Zone, a happy ending is not preferable (an ironic one is).



31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
10 Things I Hate About You



32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey



33. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter



34. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on the person.



35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Rice.


36. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
N/A



37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Collected Short Stories of Arthur C. Clarke


38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A picture of raindrops.



39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Good Eats and Dave The Barbarian.



40. FAVOURITE SOUND?
Good music (I'm especially fond of Queen, They Might Be Giants, Tom Smith, The Consortium Of Genius, Rob Balder, Abba, Luke Ski, Wierd Al, Tom Lehrer, DJ Particle, The Gothsicles, Blind Guardian, Nightwish, Sudden Death, Jefferson Airplane, Simon and Garfunkel, The Consortium Of Genius, Donovan, early Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, Raymond and Scum, Muddy Waters, Frank Zappa's instrumental stuff, The Kinks, The Who, just about anything by Richard O'Brian, The Consortium Of Genius, Herman's Hermits, The Monkees, Strong Bad, Limozeen, Sloshy, Metallica, Pink Floyd, OK GO, Suzi Quatro, David Bowie, Sweet, Slade, Poison, Quiet Riot, Cinderella, Led Zeppelin, Cream, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Clash, some of The Cure's poppier stuff, The Bee Gees, Bob Marley, U-roy, Jimmy Cliff, The Stone Temple Pilots, The Consortium Of Genius, Run-DMC, The Beastie Boys, The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, LL Cool J, Parliament-Funkadelic, Carrie Dahlby, KC and The Sunshine Band, Kool and The Gang, Live, R.E.M, Jonathan Coulton, The Consortium Of Genius, Murray Gold, Mark Snow, Danny Elfman, Oingo Boingo, Duke Ellington, Shel Silverstein, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, The Chipmunks, David Seville, Jim Henson, John Denver, Elton John, Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Sara Evans, The Consortium Of Genius, Sesame Street, Nittle Grasper, Bad Luck, Yoko Kanno, Yoko Ono, John Lennon, John Linnel, Brian Wilson, The Barenaked Ladies, Peter Gabriel, Genesis, Yes, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Adam Sandler, Iron Butterfly, Tommy James and The Shondells, Joan Jett, The White Stripes, The Killers, Pat Benatar, Chuck Berry, The Penguins, Dion and The Belmonts, Faith Hill, Tim Mcgraw, Dio, Aretha Franklin, Big 'n' Rich, Montgomery Gentry, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Rod Stewart, ELO, Wicked, Grease, Neil Innes, The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, Monty Python, Eric Idle, Spinal Tap, Prince, Alice Cooper, Screaming Jay Hawkins, the cast of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", Kiss, Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, Lemon Demon, Lynard Skynard, Bo Diddley, Eagles, Motorhead, AC/DC, and The Consortium of Genius)




41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
What kind of choice is this? The Rolling Stones are great musicians and good songwriters, but they aren't even close to being what the beatles were, while the beatles are great musicians and great songwriters, but they're somewhat overrated; the real question is "The Who or The Kinks?"



42. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
"Wherever I may roam, where I lay my head is home"



43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I'm funny, I'm smart, and I can sing. I am by no means humble, though.



44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Salem, OR (i think).



45. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
None, but i am looking forward to your comments on my answers.

Also, please visit http://consortiumofgenius.com, they're my new favourite band!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The In Joke Song

This just in: look at my hand, how weird is my hand?

Round and round and round I go

Where am I going? I don't really know

I don't know where I'm going

But I know exactly where I've been

And I bet'cha that some time in the future I'll go back again


(the rest of the song is accompanied by rhythmic banjo and maracas, except, of course, during the drum solo and the big finale)


If art is anything you can get away with

Then this should fit right in

I'm spouting meaningless crap, but I feel alright

If mom says to spit out my gum, then I'll swallow it in spite


The meaning of existence? Why it's 42




The colour of infinity is a kind of darkish blue

Everything wrong with Star Trek is all the fault of Q

When will Duke Nukem Forever come out? I really wish I knew


I got the existential blues and I think they are contagious

Is it just me or is reality outrageous?

Forever is a temporary state, I wonder why?

Could you please excuse me while I kiss the sky?

When it all comes down to it, is it just a lie?

No, I think it's all an in-joke between me, myself, and I


(Drum solo!)

(After the drum solo finishes, the drums keep going while voices chant "I'm Henry the 8 th, I'm Henry the 8th, Henry the 8th I am" and the maraca player starts banging their maracas together; three chants in the accordionist plays that riff from "Earache My Eye", followed by the keyboardist (me) playing the same riff (only on the keyboard) after that the banjo player plays the riff again (I really do love that riff), and then the bass player plays the exact same riff (go figure))

(30 second bag-pipe solo… and then, um… a drum roll ending with a big finale on the xylophone!)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

The Stephen Report

I'm really sorry I haven't been updating [Posting? what's the word for that?] more regularly.

I just couldn't find anything in my life that's worthy of a blog entry, but then I thought "if people are reading about my life anyway, why shouldn't I just give you an update on my life? "

So here it is:

I found a really funny web comic, it's called Brat-Halla (sadly, it has nothing to do with German sausages) and it's about the Norse gods as elementary-schoolers, trust me it's really funny [I don't know the link off the top of my head, but I know it's at graphicsmash.com].

I finally watched Wayne's World, and it is most excellent (it's basically Bill & Ted, without the time-travel), I encourage everyone who hasn't watched it to either A) watch it because you can relate (I would not be surprised if I'm still living with my parents at 20... or 30), B) watch it for the awesome soundtrack, or C) avoid it like the plague, because you don't like bathroom humour [it's spelled with a U! I don't really understand what Americans have against the letter U].

I'm currently on vacation in Missouri.

I'm learning how to play the harmonica, so far I can play the first two lines of "when the saints go marching in" and a bit from "Touch Me" by The Doors.

I'm still working on my book, if I ever finish it I shall start an internet radio show (for which I have even picked out opening and ending themes) and a convention... thing.

The Killers are doing a concert in Houston (September 15), which I will hopefully be able to go to, if I end up going I'll talk about it in my next post afterwards. Rascal Flats is in concert in San Antonio on July 28. They are sooner, closer, and I like them better. Plus they have the added bonus of being one of my mom's favorites. I'll let you know if I get to go. (I didn't get to go, ah well, mom says i would hate going to a concert anyway)

I found a really addicting online game (okgo.net/rescuetheband).

I've been getting into something called wizard rock, the best to explain it is with this math equation: rock music + harry potter + a very geeky mindset = wizard rock, wizrocklopedia.com should explain it. I'm making a list of names I could use if I ever started a band (suggestions are welcome).

I've been watching Yu-Gi-Oh and Naruto The Abridged Series' (Naruto Abridged starts out stupid, but it gets really funny later on).

I went to see Spamalot, it was really hilarious, if a little bawdy (then again, Shakespeare's comedies were pretty bawdy, so there).

Nothing truly exciting has happened in my life lately (with the possible exception of Spamalot), but I figure if the bacon thing is blog worthy, then so is this.

So until next time, don't get your nose hairs caught in a burning trajectory over Moscow

Stephen

P.S. In regards to my last post, Luke Ski did a really funny song on the subject of bacon (lukeski.com under free mp3s).

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bacon!

I think I killed the Subway sandwich guy.
Figuratively. (I'm autistic, not psychotic).

"How can you stand to live with him?" he asked my mother.

Not the most subtle of social cues, but I think I got it.

See, none of you have ever talked to me. Well LindaBeth and Grandma have, but most of you have only read my blog. I get reader compliments for being mature or well-spoken. But, as I've said before, I'm really just well-edited.

What you can't see is how I talk. And I talk. And I talk. I wake up talking to myself and it keeps going until I fall asleep talking to myself (or the tv). I talk with my hands. I talk in parentheticals. I talk in sidebars. I talk in tangents.

It all started innocently enough that day. My mom took me into Subway for lunch. She asked what I wanted to eat. I scanned the menu and.... an obsession was born.

Bacon!

I liked bacon before I saw the menu that day, but that day I had to have it. I mean I HAD to have it. Bacon! I could only see bacon, smell bacon, say bacon.

"What do you want to eat?"
Bacon
"They don't have a bacon sandwich."
Can I have tuna and bacon?
"No. You can't have tuna and bacon. Ick."
Can I have just bacon?
"No, would you like..."
Bacon! Without the bread?
"How about...."
Bacon. Bacon? Bacon!
"I asked, they don't offer a BLT."
Can I have just the B then?
"I don't think so."
But they sell it. I see it. They HAVE bacon.
"How about roast beef?"
With bacon?

Bacon, bacon, bacon!

I honestly don't remember what I got to eat that day. I know it didn't end up having bacon on it, because the Subway sandwich guy couldn't handle it. Mom was laughing and trying to get him to tell us what kind of sandwich that he could make would have bacon on it - but he just couldn't get there. I think he was overwhelmed. I hope he didn't suffer any permanent trauma.

Unfortunately, he couldn't know that most of my conversations are like this. They aren't tantrums, more like enthusiastic begging or rambling. And a little bit of perseveration - when I get stuck on one topic.

It sounds something like this:

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Cleanliness is Next to Impossible

I would rather blog about taking a shower than actually take a shower.

Mom told me to go take a shower. I don't want to take a shower. She jokingly suggested that I blog about not wanting to shower.

I finished my lunch and happily walked to the computer.

"What are you doing?"

I am going to blog about taking a shower.

"No, I want you to go take a shower."

I will when I'm done blogging.

"No, go take a shower and while you are in there - think about what you'd like to blog about taking a shower."

~But I want to blog. BLOG! I want to blog. BLOG! blog, blog, blog, I want to blog! ~ (apologies to Twisted Sister).

Actually, I really just don't want to take a shower.

P.S. Yes, I took my shower. Mom was laughing so hard I actually got to blog first.

Yes, I used shampoo and soap.

I'm taking the 5th regarding clean underwear.

Reader Q & A (Take 2)

Howdy folks! I have actually gotten some more questions from readers. Here are my current answers. Check back often, they change regularly. Grin.

1. Have you gotten any gear yet?

Sadly, no. I've been promised a Wii for my birthday - but mom is going to be paying full retail. Ha! I'm still interested in reviewing gear appropriate for gifted kids and kids on the autistic spectrum. So, if anyone knows anyone...... Or if you just have an idea that you want me to write about, let me know!

2. Is your book the fictionalized history of Sekigahara?

No. I do still want to write about the battle of Sekigahara but I haven't done nearly enough research yet. I am working on two separate ideas for books, and I intend to at least write the drafts this year. As you'll see in some of the posts I'm working on - I have been thinking a lot about what is success. Really, how do you define success? And, more importantly, how do you apply popular notions of success to kids like me, kids who have learning disabilities, and kids who are gifted in certain ways?

The other idea is about access of Asperger's kids to all types of entertainment venues. (Lol! I liked the word "thingies" but venue seemed clearer somehow. Did you know that "lol" is a dutch word that conveniently means "fun"? But I digress.... Oh look! An imp!) I like to go to restaurants, movies, plays, amusement parks, etc. Some experiences are better than others. Some places and some workers are better at dealing with people with less than obvious disabilities.

3. How's Texas?

Awesome! The best part of Texas is that I'm here. We didn't have internet access for the first few weeks, but now that we do - I'm back online, baby! We also have a new 56 inch HD TV which is cool for playing games but not so great for Runescape. Pinball in hi-def is cool! I can't wait for the Wii!

4. What is your Runescape name? When do you play?

Jetthead3; all the time!!!! Stop by. Say, "Hi!" Also, look for Mr. IO Man (dad) and Queen Pete (mom) in member's world 116.

5. Did you write the Gilbert & Sullivan piece?

The parody? yes. The original, no. I wasn't invited to be part of their group.

6. What is your current reading list?

I'm not sure. Let me check. I'll be right Bach, or Beethoven, or Weird Al Yankovic..... I'm not sure which. Ok, I am currently reading: (in no particular order)

Artemis Fowls (the series), Eoin Colfer - Worth a good re-read!
Sherlock Holmes: The Sign of Four, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Volume I), attributed to Luo Guanzhong
Justice League Unlimited (the series, except for issue 28), DC Kids
The Ultimate Fantastic Four, Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar
Gintama (not to be confused with kintama which means "golden balls" and is a Japanese euphemism for testicles), Hideaki Sorachi
Yu-gi-oh! GX, Naoyuki Kageyama
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (series), Douglas Adams - Always a good re-read.

What's on your reading list?

7. Do you take requests?

On what to write about? Absolutely. On behavior, not so much.

8. What is your favorite post so far?

"Count your blessings", September 2006, because it contains my whole life philosophy (both the title and the actual post).

"Don't get your nose hairs in a burning trajectory over Moscow - be happy!"

Stephen

Inappropriate Words

How do words become inappropriate? Through use, misuse, or both?

If I were to say "spam" as an expletive or profanity, you would laugh at me. If I were to curse at all, you would probably laugh at me. Mom wouldn't, she would ground me. But all that is beside the point. Spam that. (For some reason things you wouldn't really want a child to know is always funny - as long as it is not your child). Anyway, if "spam" were to catch on in the context of derogative language - at what point would it become inappropriate?

This week a radio talk show host, Don Imus, made inappropriate comments on a grand scale. He's not even a real "shock jock". Imus is considered more of a mainstream political commentator - although he is one who pushes the envelope of acceptable regularly. Without repeating him, Imus made fun of the Rutgers University women's basketball team. His words were racist and sexist. I wouldn't want him talking about my sister like that. I don't think he should talk about anybody like that.

On Spin City, the characters were discussing a local shock jock's radio show. Mike called it something close to"unadulterated filth that appeals to the lowest members of society" - the unwashed schlubs, as it were. Stewart said, "So, do you watch the show?" Yep. The reason inappropriate words get used is because they get ratings. They have an audience. They get repeated by the masses.

If things get repeated, what's the danger? We become desensitized. We spread the hate. So, we have two choices - make no words taboo or don't say/think hateful things. It would require some serious brainwashing to get people to do either one of those things. It might be worth it, but it would require lots and lots of work.

I think that society should take a lesson from good parenting. If you don't want your children to repeat the bad words you say, don't say them. You don't let them repeat Uncle Scott (the Marine) for instance. If the children learn bad words from somewhere else and say them in front of you, for heaven's sake don't laugh at them or encourage them. Until then, maybe we should put all of society in time out for using inappropriate words.

Stephen

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Changes....

I haven't posted for a while because I've been a little busy.

First, I turned 11. Yeah! Second, I moved to Texas with my family. This is really cool because my friends Eric and Kenneth live in Texas and I hope to see them more often. Third, I got to start my 8th grade work (even though I have some math and science left to do in 7th). Fourth, I started a Google Group to email out my posts to my loyal readers (Ha! You know who you are). Fifth, I'm writing a book this year and FINALLY starting my online store. (More on both of those later).

Hope all is well in your world.

Adios!

Stephen














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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Family that Slays Together.... Stays Together!

Imagine a family enjoying their holidays together playing games, laughing, telling jokes, slaying monsters.....

That would be my family. Generally, family game night finds Mom, Dad, and my sister sitting together on the couch and me in typing away at my desktop computer in the other room.

I'm not alone, or even excluded from the family activities - we just have three laptop computers on a wireless modem and I prefer the desk model. That's right - we're all questing together in Runescape!

Runescape is a massively multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG) set in vaguely medieval times in a vast and magical world. Players create and dress an avatar (interesting fashion choices are tolerated) and join others in questing, fighting, treasure hunting, skill building, and general mayhem. Players can progress from newbie status to expert levels in skill sets such as magic, woodcutting, firemaking, mining, thieving, combat, construction, potion-making, and even slaying. Players can interact directly with others and talk, via chat, in real time.

Runescape has become a family obsession. Its more than a little bit addicting. I started playing because my friend Eric, who lives in Texas, finally found a game we could both play online together. My parents, like most of the adults who play, got hooked while checking the game out for safety and appropriateness. The Runescape folks know that this is a popular online destination for kids so they set up safeguards against inappropriate language or real-world contact.

So, I started playing. Then my dad started playing. My sister got an account, which my mom promptly took over when T went back to school on Monday. So, my sister got a second account. My parents pay my monthly membership fee of $5. I earned the membership by building my skills from level 1 to level 30 in main categories such as fishing, wood cutting, fire making, and combat, and cooking. (Apparently, learning to work a process or system (executive functions) to achieve results is a valuable life skill - Who cares? Its fun!)