Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Parental Supervision and Nutjob Cultists

Brian Clevinger writes a webcomic called "8-bit Theater" that is what exactly what my blog would be without parental supervision. (

"8-bit Theater" is the ultimate in web-based video game parody. The characters are drawn from Final Fantasy, the jokes are drawn from gaming culture (and hormonal male adolescence), and the storyline picks up where the original game never began. In short, Clevinger adds an actual, original story to the game premise of providing an excuse to mow down large numbers of randomly encountered monsters.

I read "8-bit Theater" for a while before I showed it to my parents. The strip has blood, sexual references, and some cursing. I really didn't think that my parents would understand or appreciate the humor involved or let me keep reading the strip.

So, what made me finally show "8-bit Theater" to my parents? Last night I read the most hilarious comic and I needed to share the joke with my mom. Actually, I needed to use the joke to make fun of my mother. One of the characters, Red Mage, is granted a last request by the Evil Villain Cult People. (See Episodes 739 and 740).

Red Mage: "At any given point in history there are doomsday cults. Such as yourselves. For a thousand years your kind has striven for and preached an end of times that will never be."

Villain: "Your question?"

Red Mage: "My question is, What's it LIKE to be as stupid as you are ugly?"

Villain: [Here the character delivers a HUGE monologue on the nature of beauty encompassing 3/4 of the comic that is somewhat boring, but is more entertaining in comic form than if I typed it here.]

Red Mage: "I was being RHETORICAL."

Villain: "Sorry. I was a philosophy major, so nutjob cultist is the only job I can hold."

Mom actually took the joke pretty well. Dad was rolling on the floor laughing (actually it was the couch, but you get the idea). Mom WAS a philosophy major in college. I guess Dad could easily see her being a nutjob cultist too.

Actually, she would be the god worshipped by the nutjob cultist. She's that kind of control freak. No, thats not true either - but my parents are seriously overprotective. Parental supervision is not completely overrated, but its still somewhat annoying. For example, I couldn't read, see, or play Pokemon until I was 9. My sister and I have had to practice self defense techniques (all well and good until she uses them to hurt me). And, I'm not allowed to stay home alone for more than 15 minutes.

So, imagine my surprise when my parents read "8-bit Theater" and decided I could continue reading it myself. They said that it was as if I had invented time travel and was showing them what my work in the future would be. They also said that the blood and gore is indistinctly (I say poorly) drawn; the sexual references are infrequent and juvenile (and Mom particularly likes the fact that White Mage routinely kicks Black Mage around for being inappropriate); and the cursing is no worse than I hear from Uncle Scott (the Marine). I also know that they believe that their job is to prepare me to make good decisions, no matter what the circumstances.

So, now my behavior is my responsibility? What nutjob cultist came up with that idea?!?!?!?!?!