Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Balloon guy (BG): Can you tell me where I am and which way I'm headed?
Ground guy (GG): Sure. You're at 43 degrees, 2 minutes, 12 seconds north; 135 degrees, 17 minutes, 3 seconds east. You're at 324 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way here you were at a vector of 244 degrees and 3.2 meters per second .
BG: Amazing. Thanks. By the way, do you have Asperger's Syndrome?
GG: Geeze! I do! But how did you know that?
BG: Well, everything you told me is incredibly accurate, you've given me more detail than I need, but you've told me in a way that makes it completely useless to me!
GG: Huh. Are you a clinical psychologist?
BG: I am! But how the heck did you know that????
GG: You don't know where you are, and you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air. You put labels on people after asking them a few questions. And, you're in exactly the same spot you were 5 minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
I want a life list. They seem useful. Like, I might grow up and forget what I want to do with my life. And, imagine having a list to tell me what I haven't done yet. I tried relying on mom, but she only remembers undone chores. Not so much fun.
Anyway, here are the things that are on my life list right now:
1. Learn to make sushi.
2. Invent time travel.
3. Learn capoeira.
4. Meet Stephen Hawking and Dr. J. Richard Gott.
5. Direct a Sci-Fi romantic comedy movie.
6. Write a Sci-Fi romantic comedy movie.
7. Sing with the Penguins and Chuck Berry.
8. Go to the Olympics and watch Beach Volleyball and Curling .
9. Learn Japanese.
10. Write an historical fiction of the Battle of Sekigahara.
11. Take my cousins to Disney World.
Why do I want to do these things? Well, first - I have to eat something when I grow up. It might as well be really good. Who wants to get stuck eating macaroni and cheese for years until they learn how to cook? With sushi, I won't ever have to cook!
I'm actually making progress in the time travel department. So far, I've figured out how to travel to the future - one second at a time. Just kidding. Actually, I'm serious about time travel. Dr. Gott's book, "Time Travel Through Einstein's Universe" is one of my all time favorite theoretical physics books. Actually, its one of my favorite books period.
I'm just getting started on my life list. I reserve the right to change my mind in the future.
Hasta la vista!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
One of the big questions I've been asked is:
Q. "Why 'Gifted Gear'"?
A. First, its an homage to 'Guilty Gear' - the rock and roll fighting game. (Which may be the weirdest fighting game I've ever seen - but I enjoy it.) Second, I was really trying to do a sort of geek site where I would do reviews on actual toys, games, electronics, that gifted kids would enjoy. Honestly, I'd hoped to make a little money on a related site with links to the stores that sell the item and, eventually, get FREE stuff and become a gear Beta tester. But, I'm having a lot of fun blogging, so I may never get the other web site up. (FREE stuff is still accepted!)
Related Q. "Why are you writing about Asperger's instead of Gear?"
Related A. Well, they say write what you know. The closest I've been to gear, so far, is my computer and my GameCube controller. The first people kind enough to read my blog sent feedback indicating that I might actually develop a readership if I talked about what life is like as a gifted, Asperger's kid. Luckily, I do enjoy writing about my life. My life is fun. It would be even more fun with more gear though. (See above!)
Well, that gets us started. If you have more questions, comments, suggestions, or
FREE gear - please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Although you have to meet me to be able to define me (and I haven’t done so completely, yet), I have collected various labels in my 10 years. Some labels are rather obvious – boy, kid, and glasses-wearer. Some are not so obvious – procrastinator, best friend, and smart. Asperger’s Syndrome is different than all of these. I like to call it a “personality effect.” This is “defect” without the “d”.
The clinical definition of Asperger’s Syndrome is “a developmental disorder in which people have difficulties understanding how to interact socially,” according to www.WebMD.com. “People with Asperger's syndrome have some traits of autism, especially weak social skills and a preference for sameness and routine. However, unlike those with autism, children with Asperger's syndrome usually start to talk around 2 years of age (the age at which speech normally develops). They have normal to above-normal intelligence.”
I started school at age 5, going to a public school kindergarten at Fort Lewis, Washington. Although I was ahead of my classmates academically, I had trouble with the social structure of class. I talked too much and didn’t participate in activities. I switched to a private church school, Evergreen Christian Academy, in October. I liked Evergreen. I didn’t do my class work, I played by myself at recess, and I spent a lot of time in the office talking to the principal. She was the first person to suggest that I might be autistic (not that I knew that at the time).
In the summer of 2002, my family moved to Heidelberg, Germany. I attended Patrick Henry Elementary School on post. My first grade class was a German immersion class. I was very frustrated with the lack of translation and communication between English and German. Frau B. was frustrated with me. She didn’t believe that I should get extra challenges because, after all, I didn’t know German. In January of that year I was bumped to second grade. That was fun as long as I remembered when, exactly, to use my library pass to escape my frustrated teacher. Mr. H.’s class was much better. It was in English (which is major), and he was easier to get along with.
I met Eric, Ms. P, and Mari that year. Eric is my best friend, but we are exact opposites. We had “gifted” classes and cub scouts together. Ms. P was the TAG (talented and gifted) program. She has very little imagination, to my way of thinking – but I liked her. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do with Eric and me. Mari was the Special Education teacher. She was SPECIAL (as in absolutely terrific!). She was my first introduction to Elvis. She “had my number” from day one, and liked me anyway. I spent the next year in third grade and started fifth grade in my third year of school, all the while doing TAG and Special Ed. In Special Ed, I worked on social skills. I helped other students, played games, went fishing, popped popcorn, and danced with Mari. Life was great!
My parents pulled me out of public school in January, 2005, because it was just painful being in class. I was in trouble all the time for talking and not participating, and I was lonely when Eric moved to Texas. I tried, but I couldn’t seem to do anything right at school. The PHES Vice Principal, Ms. P ( a different one), gave me lots of support and personal attention but I really could not function in the classroom without somebody sitting next to me and helping every minute of every day. I started taking classes at CMA. I like CMA because its online (giving me yet another excuse to be on the computer) and the coursework is fun. I really like all of the mentors I’ve met and worked with: Linda Beth, Lisa T., Diane E., and Kim A.. My main mentor, Linda Beth, also seems to "have my number" and I believe that she likes me too. Even better, I really seem to fit in with the other students of all ages.
Asperger’s Syndrome is not something that you can see when you look at me. At home I don’t notice it much. Everybody is odd at home, at least at my home. Out in public, my biggest social skills challenge is shaking hands and when strangers, usually older adults, try to touch me (not in any inappropriate way – just rubbing my head or patting my shoulder). At first I shrugged, ducked, and swatted their hands away. Then I cut down on the swatting and tried waving “hello.” I figured if I said hi first, they wouldn’t offer to shake hands. Now, I just put up with it. It’s a good strategy because it works without embarrassing anybody.
Other coping strategies I’ve used or heard of are “So?,” buzz off cards, and “get out of line free” pass. “So?” is a strategy I use when someone is bugging me. Its amazing how annoyed bullies get when you respond to their taunts with “so?” or “why?”. Buzz off cards are business cards that parents can give to a stranger when an autistic kid has a tantrum in public and they want to explain the behavior without actually taking the time to define autism. I don’t think they actually say “buzz off”, that’s just what my parents called them. We’ve never used them since I don’t have tantrums in public, but they sound really effective. The “get out of line free” pass is my favorite. At amusement parks, like Disney World or Six Flags, I get a disability pass that allows me to skip the long lines waiting for rides. That’s cool because I don’t have to wait in long, loud, hot lines with strangers pressing in on all sides.
I consider Asperger’s to be something that has an effect on my personality. But, I don’t consider it a disability. In fact, I’m rather enjoying myself. If it wasn’t for Asperger’s, I’d still be in public school as a 4th grader. Asperger’s is an opportunity in many ways. It gives me more quality time with my parents and it operates as a “get out of line free” card for me.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
"8-bit Theater" is the ultimate in web-based video game parody. The characters are drawn from Final Fantasy, the jokes are drawn from gaming culture (and hormonal male adolescence), and the storyline picks up where the original game never began. In short, Clevinger adds an actual, original story to the game premise of providing an excuse to mow down large numbers of randomly encountered monsters.
I read "8-bit Theater" for a while before I showed it to my parents. The strip has blood, sexual references, and some cursing. I really didn't think that my parents would understand or appreciate the humor involved or let me keep reading the strip.
So, what made me finally show "8-bit Theater" to my parents? Last night I read the most hilarious comic and I needed to share the joke with my mom. Actually, I needed to use the joke to make fun of my mother. One of the characters, Red Mage, is granted a last request by the Evil Villain Cult People. (See Episodes 739 and 740).
Red Mage: "At any given point in history there are doomsday cults. Such as yourselves. For a thousand years your kind has striven for and preached an end of times that will never be."
Villain: "Your question?"
Red Mage: "My question is, What's it LIKE to be as stupid as you are ugly?"
Villain: [Here the character delivers a HUGE monologue on the nature of beauty encompassing 3/4 of the comic that is somewhat boring, but is more entertaining in comic form than if I typed it here.]
Red Mage: "I was being RHETORICAL."
Villain: "Sorry. I was a philosophy major, so nutjob cultist is the only job I can hold."
Mom actually took the joke pretty well. Dad was rolling on the floor laughing (actually it was the couch, but you get the idea). Mom WAS a philosophy major in college. I guess Dad could easily see her being a nutjob cultist too.
Actually, she would be the god worshipped by the nutjob cultist. She's that kind of control freak. No, thats not true either - but my parents are seriously overprotective. Parental supervision is not completely overrated, but its still somewhat annoying. For example, I couldn't read, see, or play Pokemon until I was 9. My sister and I have had to practice self defense techniques (all well and good until she uses them to hurt me). And, I'm not allowed to stay home alone for more than 15 minutes.
So, imagine my surprise when my parents read "8-bit Theater" and decided I could continue reading it myself. They said that it was as if I had invented time travel and was showing them what my work in the future would be. They also said that the blood and gore is indistinctly (I say poorly) drawn; the sexual references are infrequent and juvenile (and Mom particularly likes the fact that White Mage routinely kicks Black Mage around for being inappropriate); and the cursing is no worse than I hear from Uncle Scott (the Marine). I also know that they believe that their job is to prepare me to make good decisions, no matter what the circumstances.
So, now my behavior is my responsibility? What nutjob cultist came up with that idea?!?!?!?!?!